At one time or another in our lives we had to do some form of negotiating.
Whether you’re an investment bank CEO, insurance salesman or simply trying to buy something, negotiation skills are the key to getting what you want for what you want.
The problem is, not many people can negotiate effectively and they often either get the short end of the stick or are completely ripped off without even knowing it.
My guess is you’re probably one of these people. Why?
1. You don’t know what you want
Sometimes, you don’t know exactly what you want which puts you at a terrible disadvantage that other people can take advantage of. For example, you can’t just walk into a car dealership and say, “I’m looking for a car that’s nice and affordable,” you’ll probably walk out of there paying more than you expected for a car you didn’t really want. Car salesmen like other people want to squeeze the most from any deal and they are trained to do it. So you know they will use every trick in the book to get what they want.
Before you even start negotiating, you have to know exactly what you want and stick to it. Using a car dealership as an example, you have to have your mind set to buying a Prius. Keep your mind focused on the idea that you want a Prius. Do your research beforehand and find out what is the best for you.
2. You don’t say what you want
You know what you want, the idea is in your head but you don’t actually say anything. You let people tell you what you want or give you an offer without providing your own counter offer and in the end you may actually get convinced that it’s the best. Don’t let this happen!
How can you negotiate if you don’t say and stand by what you want? Once you do this, then the negotiating can begin.
3. You have a horrible delivery
It’s not enough to know what to say, you have to be able to deliver too. Have you heard the way lawyers speak during the case? Their delivery is impeccable. They speak confidently and carefully and that’s why they are excellent at negotiating as well.
4. You love arguing
Some people might think negotiating is very similar to arguing. Actually it is but with one crucial difference. At the end of an argument, one person is left happy while another is left upset and sometimes humiliated.
Now ask yourself, would you go through with a deal, if in the end you felt humiliated? Of course not! This is not the goal of a negotiation. At the end of negotiation both people are supposed to feel satisfied that they made the right decision and they are more than likely going to want to deal with you again.
5. You talk too much
It is important to talk but it’s also important NOT to talk too much. When people talk too much, they tend to reveal a lot of their weaknesses and sometimes just simply irritate their counterpart.
6. You’re short tempered
When you don’t get what you want, you immediately throw a fit. No one wants to negotiate with someone like this especially in the business world. Easily getting upset shows immaturity which people don’t want to deal with.
If you have temper problems, then you have to work on them, otherwise it could cost you.
7. You’re not realistic
You start out extremely high or extremely low. Most of the time, this is just not realistic. Though it’s good to start higher or lower than you expect, you have to be sensible. You can’t sell someone a bottle of water for $10,000, even if you are stranded in the middle of the desert. Most people would rather take their chances if there is hope of getting a better deal somewhere else.
8. You panic
When the negotiation isn’t going like you planned, you panic and take the deal you don’t really want. Panic is the worst thing you can do because this can be exploited. Keep your cool and you’re well on your way to becoming a cut throat negotiator.
9. You don’t do your research
You never do your research before you make a deal and that’s why you’re easily manipulated and get the short end of the stick. Learn everything you can first so that you can spot lies and easily estimate values on situations.
10. You don’t choose your environment
You negotiate in an environment that you’re not comfortable in. Sometimes it’s good to have home field advantage over somebody. If it’s possible, take them to your favorite restaurant or somewhere you feel more comfortable. This will give you confidence, help reduce stress and you’ll feel less nervous.
11. You don’t know your counterpart
You never know who you’re dealing with. You either underestimate or overestimate them and usually end up losing out. You have to know what type of person you’re dealing with and you can use this to your advantage. For example, If necessary, buy them a small gift they would enjoy, even a drink would do. This would lighten the mood and make negotiations go smoothly. You can also use their weaknesses to your advantage.
12. You don’t have options
You go in without having any options so you become desperate. You have to have and maintain your walk away power so that if you don’t end up settling, you have other people who can make you the deal you want. Plus, if you can mention some of your possible alternatives during your conversation it puts pressure on them.
13. You can’t compromise
You’re too stubborn and you refuse to make a compromise. Sometimes what you want just isn’t feasible. It’s hard to deal with but you just have to accept the fact and compromise.
14. Your body language sucks
Body language can tell a lot about what you’re really thinking. Your voice can scream confidence but your body gives you away. Your body can tell other people whether you’re desperate or not. You have to learn good body language and practice your poker face to be an effective negotiator.
15. You don’t expect the unexpected
You’re usually taken by surprise because you didn’t anticipate the different directions the conversation would go and you can’t respond accordingly. You are supposed to expect the unexpected.
16. You don’t ask the right questions
You don’t ask the type of questions that bring progress. You have to know and ask questions that are highly relevant and a negotiation will go the way you want.
17. You don’t practice
Practice makes perfect. I’m not trying to sound cliché; I’m just stating a fact. When you do something over and over, you develop a knack for it. Any time you come across something that could turn out to be an argument; you should try to NEGOTIATE instead. It will develop your skills while at the same time save you a lot of time in screaming and hair pulling.
